2 Months Old!

Benjamin // Benji Bear

• Weight:  10 lbs 15 oz (!)  Length:  23 ins  Head Circumference:  15.5 ins
• 25-50th %ile for height and weight
• He has a sweet little double chin and the most delicious, kissable lips
• He loves playtime on the activity mat and talks to the parrot and squirrel
• His neck muscles are getting stronger and he does really well with tummy time
• He's a pretty "easy" baby in the sense that he typically only cries when hungry, wet, or tired and wants to be held.  I heard him cry out of pain for the first time a few hours after he got his 2 month vaccinations, and it was HEARTBREAKING!  His cry is so sweet (not screaming, more mild), but this cry was awful to hear.  You could just tell he had owies :(
• He's usually a great sleeper, but he's been fighting sleep more lately.
• He still loves his paci "Quackers" and can usually be found sucking away if he's not playing.
• He's a great eater and takes 3-4 oz every feed. He also has started breastfeeding again, which makes my heart happy.
• He likes to hold his hands together at his chest.  When he sleeps he has one arm up and around his head.  So cute.  
• His eyes are gorgeous and sometimes he opens them real wide and looks at you like he just did something naughty.  The funniest is when I go in to settle him down if he's awake and thrashing around when he should be sleeping.  It's as if I caught him red-handed, he gives me this wide-eyed look, sometimes with a smile.
• He smiles and laughs a lot!  It melts my heart.
• I love to style his soft fluffy hair :)  He hasn't lost much of it at all.  Everyone says he will, but we shall see.
• His eyes are a deep deep blue.

a shot of that sweet Benji smile :)

Zachary // Zachy Poo

• Weight:  10 lbs 6 oz  Length:  23 1/2 ins  Head Circumference:  15.3 ins
• 25-50th %ile for height and weight
• Oh, Zachy.  He has had quite a rough past month.  I was convinced he had reflux about a month ago and called the doctor, who wanted me to change his supplementation formula to Similac Sensitive before trying any medicine.  We did that, but he continued to scream in pain, arch his back, spit out feedings while taking the bottle, pull away from the nipple, not take as many ounce, and spit up a good amount.  I finally called to make an appointment (and texted one of the GI doctors I work for at the hospital), and we got him a prescription for Zantac.  The Zantac has seemed to do the trick, praise the Lord!  He still has some trouble in the mornings, sometimes, but he's overall much better.
• He's a pretty gassy little fellow, too, which bothers him big time.
• Zachary also loves the activity mat and talks and coos to the toys.  He enjoys tummy time and is getting stronger each time.  
• He has very strong legs, too, and he loves to "stand" and kick.
• He gave us the first smile of the two, and he continues to smile and laugh.  His laugh is precious.
• His blue bear paci is still a favorite, but he seems to only want it when in distress or really tired and it helps him fall asleep.
• His hair looks reddish orange some days and strawberry blond on others.  We shall see...
• Deep bluish grey eyes

Handsome fellow

Memorable Moments

   This month the boys met their great-grandparents!  My dad's parents, Nanny and Bo, are out for a visit to meet these guys from Connecticut.  They love the warm weather and have some friends who live here, too, so they usually stay for several days.  It has been so sweet to see them interact with their first great-grandchildren.  Bo can't wait to see them play football :)  [Although, the jury is still out on that one.  We know they'll definitely play baseball and basketball!]

   They have also given us longer chunks of sleep at night.  Last night, they slept from 10:30 until about 5am!  (There were two times someone called out in the night, but they settled back down quickly).  I go back to work (part-time) next Monday, so I'm hoping they'll continue this pattern!  Although, two nights ago they were up every hour for 4 hours.  Who knows.

   Mommy survived a trip to the grocery store alone with them!  I wore one and put the other in the car seat in the basket.  It was a very small and short trip, but I felt very successful!

   They moved up to Size 1 diapers and barely fit into NB size clothing.  0-3 months fit best, but they are starting to wear Carters Size 3 month onesies.  I still squeeze them into Carters NB onesies, but other kinds of outfits just don't work anymore.  Sad.  Because it's so hot here, I found it easier to just put them in onesies or button up rompers, and there are a few outfits they didn't get to wear.  They were long-sleeved ones.  Oh well.

   We celebrated Father's Day!  Andy was showered with love and affection by his bubs and family.  I made plasters of the boys' feet and painted them for him, and I framed one of our professional photos of me and the boys.  We celebrated with my family and grandparents, so it was a special day.

   

Day-to-day

   I have continued to get a lot of help taking care of the boys everyday.  Andy has had a really light schedule since it's the summer, so a lot of the days it has been us.  What a sweet blessing and great time we've had. Going back to work stinks, but I'm thankful for a job and feel privileged to be able to help other babies and kids as well as my own.  With Zachy having reflux, I feel like I have even more of a heart of compassion and mercy for these families I interact with daily at work--a lot of which have newborns and little ones with terrible reflux.  

   That being said, I told Andy that I want to handle the boys on my own (pretty much) during the day this week because I know it's inevitable.  Also because my mom will take over 3 days a week next week, and if I can't do it, how can I expect her to?  The hardest part is feeding them... everything else is pretty do-able.

   I'm still doing a combo of pumping/bottlefeeding/nursing/supplementing.  I just don't feel ready yet to go to full formula, even though pumping is a pain in the neck.  I'm still trying to nurse them when I can (i.e. when someone else is around to feed the other one or if I fed the other one a little early), but I always question if they're still hungry because I'm not sure about my supply.  I just ordered off Amazon and started today an herbal supplement.  It's a liquid and tastes AWFUL because it's made with grain-alcohol.  Sick.  But I've read reviews that it can double your supply within days.  We shall see.  I keep pushing back my goal of how long to continue, and now it's 3 months.  

Tummy time workouts!

Benjamin meeting Bo for the first time

Zachy meeting Nanny

So thankful for Nanny and Bo!

Father's Day (Uncle Nick holding Zachary)

Growing!

Benjamin Andrew

Zachary Ryan

We've been doing a lot of growing around here lately.  The boys are getting bigger by the day, it seems!  They both have little double chins and are filling out nicely.  Benji seems to be getting pretty long.  I'm so curious to see how tall they are, and I'm thinking they've got to be close to 10 lbs.  We've even moved up to Size 1 diapers!  *tear

Here they are during "play time".  They love to play on their activity mat.  I'm still discovering different noises and fun things this mat does!  I love it, and so do they :)  They're starting to interact more with the hanging toys, batting at them and smiling, laughing, and talking.  Benji LOVES to talk and coo.  

They're also doing a great job with tummy time.  Their neck muscles are getting stronger. They also like to scootch themselves with their little legs.  One time I put Zachy parallel to Benji and stepped away for a moment.  When I looked back, Zachary was perpendicular to his brother!  

                  
I just think they look so big here, especially Benjamin.  He likes one arm out of his swaddle, and it usually ends up behind his head or over his face.  I think he looks like a little teenager, just snoozing!  Love it.

We are SO big!

I have to say, Mommy is doing some growing herself.  I'm growing in the area of grace and patience.  Having newborn twins has been incredibly stretching for everything-has-to-be-perfect-and-I-like-to-follow-a-schedule me.  These boys are amazing and all that we hoped for and imagined, AND they're a lot of work!  Soooo stretching for the both of us.  My attitude can be pretty crabby at times, and I'm convicted daily.  I know that sleep deprivation doesn't help, but I'm also just asking for more grace from the Lord and more trust that He will work everything out in His timing.  The main area of stress for me is feeding them and doing things on my own.  I'm still nursing/pumping and bottlefeeding with a mix of formula and breastmilk.  I'm praying through when we'll transition to fully formula because it's taking a toll on me mentally.  I'm also have to believe that the boys will sleep through the night in His timing.  They will learn to nap, with our help, and by the grace of God.  We won't be in the newborn phase forever--which is simultaneously exciting and sad.  I return to work in 18 days, but I don't need to stress now; I want to be present in every moment and walk in Joy... not fear or worry.   Needless to say, if you know anyone with infant twins--pray for them and offer help!  :)  I take help whenever I can get it.

Clothe yourselves...

Source

It has been difficult for me to be motivated to spend time with God over the past month in the midst of my sleep deprivation haze.  But in the last week or so, I have really longed to get back to that place of daily time with the Lord early in the morning, before the start of my day.  Now that I have 2 infants to care for around the clock, it's a little tricky to time it.  The boys wake up roughly around 6-7am for their first am feed and don't eat again until 9.  We put them back down after that feed and I pump afterwards. Usually I go back to sleep, too, but I'm thinking that I need to just buckle down and stay awake after I pump.  I want to start my day off right before my babies wake up for good.

This verse has been on my heart these past few days.  I want to clothe myself each morning with these characteristics as it is pleasing to God and benefits my family and those around me.  On days that are crazy and I'm overwhelmed, I want this peace of Christ to rule in my heart. I want to already be clothed with kindness, compassion, patience, gentleness, and humility.  This is the kind of wife I want to be and the kind of mom I want to be.

So, here's to getting back(ish) in the swing of things around here!

Happy One Month!

Benjamin:  Benji Bear

• He weighs  8 lbs  and 8 oz and is 22 ins long (Birth: 6lbs 5 oz, 19.5 ins)
• He is our good sleeper--he's pretty good about self-soothing and once he's put into his crib, he usually can fall asleep without much help.
• But what does wake him up is when he pees on himself.  And that has happened several times!
• He loves his Wubbanub that we've named Quackers.  He likes to hold him while sucking away.  Sometimes he takes him out by himself when he's had enough!
• When he cries, he gets a big pouty lip!  It's so sad and cute!
• Also, when he cries, he sounds like a baby goat!  He also makes snorting noises a lot when he's just hanging out, so we call him our little farm animal :)  
• He's a good eater.  He takes his time and is much slower than his little brother.  
• He loves to go in his car seat and go for rides. (Although, he did scream his head off one time I thought I'd go to a coffee shop drive thru--don't mind the screaming baby, I'd just like an iced mocha please.)
• When his brother cries, he hardly stirs.
• I've caught a couple little smiles here and there, but he's our little serious baby.
• He has rolled from back to side/tummy.
• He has strong neck muscles.

Zachary:  Zachy Poo

• He weighs 8 lbs and 1/2 oz and is 21 ins long (Birth: 6lbs 9 oz, 20 ins)
• He usually has a harder time falling asleep, but once he's asleep, he usually stays asleep until he is hungry.  He typically wakes up screaming :)
• If Benji is our sensitive guy, Zachary is our angry guy.  If he doesn't get picked up or fed immediately when he's upset, then he will let. you. know. how he feels about it!
• Zachary also loves his Blue Bear Wubbanub, but he doesn't usually want it as much as his big brother.
• Zachy is a voracious eater and often eats way too fast, taking in a lot of air and dribbling some out of his mouth.  We always need a burp cloth around him for dribbles.  
• We have seen Zachy smile a lot, in his sleep mostly, but also awake.  He is very responsive to our talking to him.  
• He has rolled from back to side/tummy.
• When his brother cries, he hardly stirs.
• He has strong neck muscles.   

Enjoying some tummy time

Proof that they're not always happy :)

 Wubbanub love  

We are so in love with these guys.  They are so precious and daily reminders of God's love and faithfulness.  A year ago we didn't know they would come into our lives and change them forever, but somehow there was love for them in our hearts already then.  We are honestly extremely exhausted and not sleeping more than 3 hour chunks, but they have stolen our hearts.  I know I may never get to snuggle them and kiss them and hold them as they fall asleep again as they grow up and bigger, so I'm cherishing these days.  Even in the middle of the night as I'm wanting to sleep forever... each kiss on the soft cheek is worth it.  But hey, we are looking forward to longer stretches at night ;-)

Life (so far) With Twins

Let me just say... nothing can prepare you for the huge change in lifestyle that comes with welcoming home twins.  I've always considered myself maternal, I love babies and children, and I've obviously daydreamed about having babes of my own for years.  I just thought that two would be a little more of a handful, but nothing I couldn't handle.  Well, I couldn't have been more mistaken!!

Don't get me wrong, though--we are absolutely in love, and I can't believe these two bears are ours!  They are so funny and cute and squishy and adorable.  But they are hard work.  (As a little boy at Phoenix Children's Hospital warned me one day at work when I was looking at his twin baby brothers in their stroller.  "You're having twins?!  Well they are whole lotta hard work!")

Nursing/Feeding
In the hospital, both boys lost too much weight, about 10% of their birth weights, so we were told that they needed to be supplemented with formula on day 4, I think.  At that time, the doctor was also concerned about their bilirubin levels.  We really didn't feel like we had a choice, nor did we want to stand in the way of our boys gaining weight and being healthy and whole, so we agreed to supplement with formula.  They both gained weight and the jaundice cleared overnight, so that was great... but it seemed like ever since they started taking the bottles of 1 oz of Similac after nursing, their latches and interest in nursing waned.

Then we came home and it was apparent that nobody had any interest in nursing anymore!  For the first week, I was spending upwards of 20-30 minutes to get a baby to latch on and then nurse; then I'd nurse the other; they would both need an ounce of formula to supplement afterwards, and then I needed to pump to keep my milk supply coming in.  Needless to say--it was exhausting, frustrating, and defeating.

But again, at their initial doctor's appt and weight check a few days later, they both received praise reports for gaining good weight.  Meanwhile, my milk supply did not seem to be increasing much.  The first week home was kind of a blur, but somewhere around day 7 or 10 I started thinking about exclusively pumping.  Now Zachary will nurse but Benjamin seems to have absolutely no interest whatsoever.

It's tough to make such a decision... but right now, I am pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock and feeding the boys half breastmilk, half formula.  It's really helpful, too, to be able to enlist help in feeding them since they're taking bottles.  I am getting Zachary to nurse 1-2 times a day, and I'm still trying Benji every once in awhile.  I've read a lot of blogs and forums and emailed a lot of twin moms about this issue, and it seems like nursing twins is really difficult across the board.  And making the decision to power through it or pump or use formula is a tough one but really important for mom's sanity.  You know, I decided that I was losing my mind and patience, and I would hardly be able to leave the house if I kept at the nursing thing.  I just want the boys to gain weight and be healthy.  But of course, the guilt sets in that I'm not doing "the best" for my babies and I'm giving up.

Pumping by no means is easier, either!  I have to pump every 2 hours, and I'm still not producing enough to sufficiently feed 2 babies.  We'll see how everything goes, but for now, this is what we've decided will work for our family.


Sleeping/Nights
Well the babies are only 3 weeks old, so I can't expect much from them!  But they're waking pretty much every 2 1/2 hours overnight.  I also need to go pump after they eat, so I'm getting about 1-2 hours total of sleep in intervals.  Sometimes less if they're fussing and not sleeping.  I'm somehow functioning, but when the morning rolls around I get pretty grumpy and discouraged.  But by 9 or 10 I'm better and back into the swing of things somewhat. 

We obviously want them on the same schedule, so if one wakes and the other is still snoozing, we sadly wake that little lovebug up too.  Usually Benjamin is the better sleeper overall, but sometimes he's the one who wakes up crying to eat.  It all depends.  And fascinatingly (word?), their cries don't wake the other up!  Hallelujah! 

They're sharing one of their cribs... their room is literally 3 steps from our room, so it's not like they're too far away.  We had them in our room for the first night, and that was it!  haha.  We figured since we have to go to their room to feed and change them, they might as well start sleeping in there... not to mention we hardly slept that night. 

I went to a lactation support group class at the hospital today, and the lactation consultant said I could go for a period of 5 hours without pumping once during the day, so I'm hoping that Andy can take a feed overnight and I can get some sleep!!!  Oh how nice that would be.  I've fed them simultaneously before in the Boppies, so hopefully he can get the hang of it. too :)

Schedule/Routine
For now, we're feeding them every 2 1/2 - 3 hours throughout a 24 hour period.  The first morning feed is around 6:30 am and the last evening feed is 10 pm.  I'm trying to keep them on a loose schedule from Babywise so when we can really get it going, they'll already be used to it.  So, we're also trying to get them used to the eat-activity-sleep routine of Babywise, as well.  So far it's working pretty well, although they're not falling asleep during the day as easily. 

Activity/Outings
Believe it or not, they are rolling around some!  Zachary rolled onto his tummy from his back the other day!  And Benjamin rolled from his tummy to his back.  Needless to say, they both seem pretty strong and are starting to show off their neck muscles, too.  So, we're trying to get in tummy time everyday, which they don't seem to mind too much.

We've gone for several walks to the neighborhood park, and I have successfully taken them to LIfegroup, the doctor, the hospital for the lactation class, Andy's softball game, and my parents' house.  Success to me equals mommy not having a meltdown and the boys eating and staying alive :)  My next big outing is to take them to Phoenix Children's Hospital to introduce them to everyone at the clinic.  (Speaking of... I return to work the week the boys turn 10 weeks, on June 23rd.  I can't even think about it...)

Well, that's all I can think of to write now.  I haven't even read over this and and wrote it over a week, so hopefully it makes some sense to me some day!

Zachary smiles a lot!  And it doesn't seem to be with gas... but I guess it probably is.  Oh well, it's cute!

At Shelly's birthday party--the children were abundant!

Sweet brothers chatting.

 I just think they look adorable here.

Tummy time

Moby wrap!

Auntie D came to visit!!

Vic about to leave :*(

Hanging around... at the hospital and home

These little guys are definitely keeping us up at night and keeping us on our toes 

with all their squeaks and squaks and cries and poops...

But we are head over heels in love.  

Not sure when I'll be able to venture out of the house with them on my own

(so far we've only gone to the doctor, the lab, and Target parking lot with help), 

and I know I may be getting the hang of this for the next month or so...

so until then, here are people who have visited us! 

Auntie D (Victoria... we call each other Dana for some reason) 

cannot wait to come back to visit from Houston.  

And Benji and Zachy can't wait to see her again!

Auntie "D" with Zachy

 I love seeing my dad with my sons.

Yet-to-be-named Pops with his grandsons

 The Phillips girls have had lots of practice with newborns!

Miss Ellie Phillips holding Benji

Big girl Emmy Phillips holding Benji

Miss Gracie Goo holding Zachy

Little lady!

Emmy and Zachy

Big girls... the boys' neighbors :)

Sleepy daddy and Benji

Precious Z just hanging out

B loves his Wubbanub

One week birthday!

Amazed that they fit inside my belly!

First bath!

They didn't appreciate the bath :(

Brudders

B loves his hands up by his head

Poor Zachy has been having lots of tummy troubles, so please be praying for him!  He's up a lot at night and just seems really uncomfortable.  We're wondering if it's the formula I'm having to supplement with.  They have their circumcisions on Monday, so I will talk to the doctor then.

We're also having lots of trouble getting the hang of nursing.  I'm pumping and bottle feeding them a lot since it takes them so long to latch and often don't even latch at all.  Huge learning curve!

xoxo