Christmas Reflections

I wanted to share a thought God downloaded to me the week of Christmas.

I intentionally tried to meditate on Jesus coming to earth as a baby this year, now that I have my own babies and know more about what that truly means.

To me, it is incredible that my Savior--the Creator of the earth and Savior to all mankind--would come to us in the form of a helpless, completely dependent, fragile, needy baby!  It blows my mind!  How did he nurse?  Did He have colic?  When did He start sleeping through the night?  Did He take His first solids ok?  I mean, seriously!  He was fully God, but also fully man... so He wasn't exempt from all of the milestones and developmental markers that babies  go through  and sometimes struggle through.  I pray that I don't let Christmases come and go any longer without taking time to meditate on this amazing yet often overlooked fact of the Christmas story because I came away from these times more in awe of and more thankful for Jesus than before.  

He subjected Himself to infancy!  

Infancy ain't easy!

Then that got me thinking about Mary.  Infancy ain't easy on mommas, either... more so, even.  

Wow.  Mary.  

Mary birthed the Savior.

Often times our recount of the Christmas story ends there in the stable, 

with Sweet Baby Jesus in His manger.

But Mary also raised Him.  

She nursed Him.  

Changed Him.  

Learned His cries.  

Fed Him.  

Cared for Him.   

Rocked Him to sleep.  

Kissed His sweet cheeks.  (I'm sure they were super sweet, too!)

Stroked His head.  

Patted His bottom.

Wiped away His tears.

Burped Him.

Got spit up on by Him.  

I mean, think about it! It's incredible to me.  A miracle.

To think... the Savior, the Messiah:

He had the whole world in His hands, 

all of our lives on His shoulders, 

His destiny was written about in the heavens...

yet, God saw it fitting for Him to need a mommy.

This was where I stayed for awhile a few mornings after Christmas.

God spoke to me about the significance of motherhood.

If Moms should ever question their importance or significance...

just remember that Jesus--the Lord of all the universe--

needed a mommy!

God saw it necessary for Jesus to be raised into Who He would become, essentially...

or at least being raised by a mom (and a dad, of course) was important to the Gospel.

He was already great,

already God;

yet He needed a mom!

So this led me to think on my own babies.

I believe that they already have a destiny spoken over them by God.

God knows their identities even before we fully know them.

He knows the good works He has already set aside for them.  

But even though they already have a destiny, 

my role as their mother is still, and maybe even more so, important. 

I already know this, but the impossibility and miracle of Christmas got me thinking more about the significance of my role as mommy to my sons.

I am thankful that God creates babies with purpose and identity, 

and then sees it necessary to place them in families, 

under the care and direction of a mom and dad.  

What an awesome privilege!

And still crazy to me to think that the God of all the earth 

was placed under the care of earthly parents.

5 Year Anniversary // 1 Year Celebration

5 years ago today this happened:

I married my bestie!  

Marriage has been FUN.  Andy is truly my best friend, and I love living life with him by my side.

I am honored to be his wife and partner.

Marriage has also been challenging, humbling, and revealing!  

I can be quite stubborn... these 5 years (and many many more) have allowed God to shape and form me to be a little more like Jesus... but I still have a LONG way to go.

Andy helps me to be more

patient, 

calm, 

trusting, 

joyful.

And we have tons of fun and laughter together.  5 years have flown by.

August 8th will now also forever be another anniversary of sorts.

This day last year, we suited up to go into the OR and have our 3 precious embryos implanted into my womb.  

We were so expectant for God to move in miraculous ways.
This was a day of excitement and hope, 

despite all of the setbacks and pain we had endured leading up to this day.

Here we are waiting and ready :)

Little did we know that these little guys would soon turn into our sweet

Benjamin and Zachary!  

One of the perks of IVF, if you could call it a perk, would be that your baby's 

first photo is taken when they are literally seconds old...

Here are the sweet little embys as they were just nestled into my uterine lining.

Crazy!  I am still in awe of medicine and science and the way God moves in creation.

What a full 5 years we have had... looking forward to many many more!

On grieving

I realize it's an interesting post that I write today, as I'm eagerly anticipating the arrival of our little miracles, but I'm realizing that I am still grieving the loss of "what could have been" at times.  I ultimately have peace in my heart, but I still grieve.

I passed a couple walking out of the doctor's office a few weeks ago.  The wife was crying, and the husband looked somber and was rubbing her back.  They could have been crying about anything, but I just had this feeling that they either just had a miscarriage or were told that they needed to see a fertility specialist.  My heart broke for them.  I wanted to tell them it would be ok and that they're not alone.  In this small moment of time, I realized again the privilege it is that I'm carrying twins in my womb.  This was not meant to be - by any scientific means - and if it weren't for the generosity of my father (and Father), we may still be waiting for our Gabriel...

My marriage with Andy is so sweet. I love our deep friendship, and our home is filled with laughter everyday, no matter what we're going through.  So, we have even come to a place where we can laugh at our situation.  The irony and the ridiculousness of it all.  That he is missing a small but extremely important reproductive part.  We can laugh!  We can tease!  But there is still grieving.

Throughout this pregnancy, I have learned here and there how to live in the moment and be thankful for what we have--not looking to the future and asking How? or What if? or Will we?  But there are still times that I think of the other children we want and I just get sad.  Why did this happen to us?  I wish we could just plan when we want our next child and go get pregnant.  I love adoption, but I want to choose it out of an overflow of our hearts' desire, not out of obligation.  (and financially, adoption is still a pricey option)

Jesus doesn't push me away in my grief.  He doesn't say, "We've already been over this.  Why are you still sad?"  Sometimes He is the only One who understands.  When I hear of people getting pregnant again, and I am happy but have to run to the secret place to meet with God, He doesn't scold me.  He is the most patient, most understanding Father.

I've started reading the sequel to a book called Hinds Feet on High Places, which has been very influential and impactful to me in my walk with God.  This book is called Mountains of Spices (by Hannah Hurnard), and it's "an allegory about human weaknesses and strengths comparing the spices in Song of Solomon to the fruits of the Spirit".  Yesterday morning I read a part in the chapter on Joy that really struck me.  I have since written the words down in my journal twice.  I believe that it was God's way of encouraging me in this trial that we're still in...  the trial of life.  Infertility will never leave us.  We will never solve this problem.  I will always carry that in my heart--not in an unhealthy way, but just as a cross I am to bear.  We can't escape it.  But will I let it change me for His glory?  Will I choose joy on the path of suffering?

The main character in this book is named Grace and Glory after she was taken to the high places by the Shepherd in the first book.  On the journey to the high places, she learned much about God's ways and was transformed from "Much Afraid" into "Grace and Glory".  She was given a new name and now a new outlook on life.  In this chapter on Joy, the Shepherd is showing Grace and Glory the mountain where the camphire bushes grow.  "Before the perfumed oil could be produced by the plant, the ground around the bushes needed to be manured with a bitter substance which the roots of the bushes drew in from the soil and changed into the oil of gladness. There were certain seasons when [the Shepherd's] workmen treated the soil in this way, just before the heavy winter rains and snows began when  everything on the bushes faded and fell to the ground and the branches were left completely bare." (pg. 66).

Grace and Glory thought this was so sad and didn't understand why the beautiful fruit would have to endure bitterness and death.  The Shepherd responded with a song that explained why.  Grace and Glory then understood, remembering the hard journey she took to the high places, which in turn gave her the greatest joy and she came to know the King.  She responds:

"If other nights of sorrow must come to me," she said to herself, "I can never fear nor dread them again, for I know they are only the seasons when the camphire bushes of the King are prepared and made ready to produce the oil of gladness.  Oh, how lovely His thoughts and HIs plans are, how great is His wonderful goodness and loving-kindness.  His ways of grace past finding out!  Oh, that I may always react to sorrow in such a way that it will be overcome and be changed into His joy." (pg. 68)

The Shepherd's response is what has been impacting my heart majorly these past couple of days:

"There is absolutely no experience, however terrible, or heartbreaking, or unjust, or cruel, or evil, which you can meet i the course of your earthly life, that can harm you if you will but let Me teach you how to accept it with joy; and to react to it triumphantly as I did Myself, with love and forgiveness and with willingness to bear the results of wrong done by others.  Every trial, every test, every difficulty and seemingly wrong experience through which you may have to pass, is only another opportunity granted to you of conquering an evil thing and bring out of it something to the lasting praise and glory of God.

You sons and daughters of Adam, in all your suffering and sorrow, are the most privileged of all beings, for you are to be perfected through suffering and to become the sons and daughters of God with His power to overcome evil with good.  If only you realized your destiny, how you would rejoice at every experience of trial and tribulation, and even in the persecution which comes your way.  You would 'count it all joy.'  You would take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions and distresses for Christ's sake 'for when you are weak, then you learn how to be made strong.'"  (page 70, 71)

So, again, I'm learning that we become like Him in our death.  That I should count my sufferings and trials as joy because He is giving me opportunities to walk as He walked and become more like Him.  In my weaknesses, He is strong.  My weaknesses may become my greatest strengths, somehow.

Our little boys will remind me again and again and again that God makes beauty out of ashes.  I will still grieve our infertility, but I believe that this trial will continue to be made into joy.  

Our Boys

I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!

He makes all things beautiful!

*Disclaimer:  This is a very long post with lots of details!*

I feel like on this blog, one day I said we were doing IVF, 

and the next day I announced we were pregnant.

I started off sharing a fair amount of personal details, 

but then I stopped.  

Partly because I never intended to share everything

and partly because things got really hard and trying for us.

Journeying through infertility is already an extremely exposing and vulnerable thing, 

let alone when you share every single detail on your blog.

Though, I am so thankful to the countless "friends" I have made in cyberspace

by finding blogs of Christian women who have gone or are going through this journey.

Having those blogs, in addition to a "real life" friend who has walked this road before,

has been so helpful for me to just connect and hear stories and know we're not alone.

But I feel at this point that I want to share more of our story

because it helps to underscore the miracle of our twins

and brings glory to God!

Our Infertility Timeline

October 2011:  We prayed and asked God if we could start trying for a family.  We both felt His affirmation and heard encouraging words of hope.

February 2012:  Our dear friends are pregnant!  I am so excited for them, yet this stirs up fear in me and concern--why are we not pregnant yet?

May 2012:  I see my Gyn. to talk through things.  Could there be something wrong?  No, this just takes time.  Checked some labs anyway, and things looked normal.

July 2012:  At iCon, Antioch's international church planting conference, there was a significant word of encouragement spoken out during a worship time for the women in the room.  The theme of the word had to do with fertility and being pregnant with promises--more in the spirit, though.  But then Jimmy Seibert got up right after the word was spoken and encouraged any women where actually trying to conceive and having difficulty to be prayed for by friends.  This was huge for us.  The first time Andy cried about it all, and dear friends gathered around us and prayed for God to breakthrough.  We really thought this was it!
August 2012:  Another negative pregnancy test.  Heartbreak.  But continuing to trust and believe.
October 2012:  One year of trying... Made another appt with my doctor but saw a different one.  This time both Andy and I went, and this doctor talked through the option of starting Clomid, a fertility drug that jumpstarts the ovaries into releasing several eggs in hopes that one fertilizes.  We left the appointment not know why this wasn't happening for us but with an option to try.
December 2012:  After talking with a good friend who had gone through years of infertility, we decided not to do Clomid without seeing a fertility specialist first.  Our appointment was right before Christmas.  He did an ultrasound and saw that I had numerous follicles in both ovaries, suggesting that I hadn't been ovulating for years possibly.  We drew labs, too, and he went through possible reasons and options for us.  I was shocked but also glad to hear there was a reason and I wasn't going crazy!
January 2013:  We decided to move forward with Option #1--take a med that also jumpstarts the ovaries into producing/growing follicles, giving myself an injection that tells my body to ovulate at a specific day/time, and then come in for IUI (intrauterine insemination).  This whole process involved coming in for many ultrasounds for several days in a row to monitor the progress of the med.  We were finally given a specific time for me to give the "trigger" shot and then both Andy and I would come into the clinic the following day (happened to be a Saturday), and we'd get a sample from Andy, and then the doctor would put the sample in me.  Not as advanced as IVF; this leaves more up to "chance" for the body to do its thing.  We decided last minute to forgo the IUI procedure and just try naturally in our specific window of time.
January 2013 - Pregnacy Blood Test:  Negative
February 2013:  We decide to try this same option again but actually go through with the IUI procedure. I won't go into details, but this is just not fun!  Getting a "sample" is not an enjoyable task, especially under stressful time constraints.  As soon as Andy got back from dropping off the sample at the clinic, I was about to head out to leave for my portion--the IUI part--and we got The Call.  There was zero sperm in his sample.  We were devastated.
March 2013:   We meet again with our doctor, now with new clues to our infertility struggle.  There was another test he wanted to run on Andy involving more samples and stress.  When Andy got the call about the results of this test, I was in Texas for an Antioch training, so we were apart.  It was a really really hard day for us; probably one that will go down in the history books.  Again there was nothing.  We were faced with the possibility that we might never have our own biological children.  All I wanted to do was cry and cry but we were at a training conference.  I couldn't talk to anyone about it really, and I was just heartbroken.  When I got back a couple days later, Andy had already gotten an appointment with the Urologist we were referred to, and we saw him on Monday.
We really like(d) this guy, and upon initial examination (read: painful), he told us that Andy was born with something called CBAVD - Congenital Bilateral Absence of the Vas Deferens.  A condition only caused by Cystic Fibrosis or carrying the gene for CF.  This doesn't mean Andy doesn't make sperm, there is just no way for it to get out of the body.  Wow.  What?!  If he indeed made sperm (which we found out through labs), then the Urologist could do a procedure called PESA to retrieve sperm that could be used in IVF.  Our only option at this point is IVF.
April 2013:  Andy's procedure is done.  One word:  ouch.  I won't go into details, but we both get to say we went through a lot for these babies.  We also have more sad news.  The sperm retrieved weren't many and weren't healthy.  2 options--use donor sperm or try this again.  Andy was about to leave for a month long overseas missions trip in May.  It was decided that I would start the IVF drugs sometime in May, and it would hopefully work out for the day of my egg retrieval, Andy would be back in time to do the procedure again.
May 2013:  I start my many pills and shots and ultrasounds.  (I continue some form of a shot until October, actually.) Andy is overseas and taking special vitamins to help boost his numbers.
June 2013:  My body is responding a lot slower than they expected.  There was a period of 10-14 days that I was going in everyday or every other day for ultrasounds and coming home or going back to work disappointed.  Things are not happening like they should.  We might have to cancel this cycle.  But finally, there are a few follicles (which contain eggs) that are growing to the appropriate size, and we set a date for my egg retrieval and set Andy's procedure for the day before.  Andy's procedure went well--much better than the first time.  It was actually a lot less painful, too.  We had prayed and prayed, and I really believe it was God's breakthrough and mercy that allowed the results to be so good.

Capture Day:  In IVF world, this is a fun and exciting day--even though it involves going under anesthesia and getting needles poked into places they don't belong.  But for us, again, the results were less than optimal.  We were hoping for somewhere around 2 dozen eggs to be retrieved, so when I was waking from anesthesia and my doctor came to tell us he only got 11 eggs, I was devastated.  Again, I didn't understand.  We thought we would have enough eggs to make a good amount embryos (knowing that not ALL eggs or embryos survive this process) so we would never have to do this process again.  But when we got home and I spent some time in prayer and meditation, I felt again just thankful to God for this miracle of even 11 eggs.  We prayed over these eggs - and soon to be embryos - and believed for miracles.

Got my first ever IV placed and ready to go!

Ahh, anesthesia sleep.

Post-egg-retrieval.  Excited!

We have 11 baby eggs--we are already parents!  Thankful to God.

Mid-June 2013:  We get another Call.  Out of our 11 eggs, 10 fertilized with the sperm.  But after a few days, when the embryologist watches them intensely for the optimal window for freezing, only 3 survived.  THREE.  With heavy, heavy hearts we accepted this news.  It seemed like there was only disappointment for us.  We head to Disneyland for  MUCH needed vacation.
June 29th:  We return from Disney to a letter in the mail from the embryologist telling us his opinions on what to do next, and that our three little embryos were ranked sub-optimally.  Mind you, this was communicated through check boxes and short sentences.  NOT the way you want to be told that it was recommended to do this all over again or use donor sperm.
July 2013:  We meet with the fertility doctor again to go over our options.  Our hearts are still heavy and confused.  Our doctor says that in his opinion, we should move forward with transferring the embryos into my womb and seeing what happens.  Instead of transferring the recommended 2, he suggested transferring all 3, since ours weren't very strong.  This doctor is very smart and loves to calculate statistics when you see him, and somehow he gave us a 52% chance of getting pregnant with one baby after this.  We decided to throw chance out the window and believe God.  So again, I start another round of shots and pills to prepare my uterus for the transferring of embryos in August.

August 8, 2013:  Our 4 year anniversary and Transfer Day!  

I texted this pic to my mom and sis, saying,
"Do I look like a mommy?" before heading out.

We both got to "suit up" because Andy got to be there
with me when our babies were transferred.
We were both present for their conception!

August 17, 2013:  My blood test was in a few days, and we were told to not do any home pregnancy tests because you can get a false negative, but I woke up this morning and couldn't stand waiting anymore.  Before Andy woke up, I took this test... and woke him up by shoving it in his face!

My first ever POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST!

Pure JOY

We had already planned to go up to Flagstaff for the day to spend time together praying, worshipping, and trusting God for the days to come.  I really wanted to just know that we were pregnant when we did this, haha.  We found a sweet spot in the woods (wanted to find green grass, but the inclement weather prevented us) and laid out a blanket and worshipped and prayed.  We were still in shock and disbelief... and with our history of things not going as we planned, we were somewhat tentative in being too excited, but we were nonetheless.

We have a baby in there :)

August 19, 2013:  I went in for my blood test to find out if we were pregnant--although we already knew :)  We didn't tell ANYONE about this date because we wanted it to be a surprise.
Of course, I get the wonderful news when the nurse calls me at work a few hours later.  PURE BLISS.

Over the next 2 weeks, I go in for 3 more blood tests to make sure my HcG levels (pregnancy hormone) were rising appropriately.   Well, mine were more than doubling, they were tripling.  This was our first inkling that maybe God answered our prayer for twins.

These three little embryos turned into...

TWO BABIES!

 

Trials and testing prove there's gold.

God is not haphazard or negligent.  He has a plan and purpose for everything He does.
This past year and a half has tried and tested us, but I am convinced more than ever before that
He satisfies my soul.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Ecclesiastes 3:11

After all that, we are now counting down the weeks to welcoming two baby boys into our hearts and home.  I will NEVER forget the faithfulness of God in our story.  They will grow up knowing that they were longed for, fought for, prayed for, and loved before they even had a heartbeat.  

Our Dreams Came True!

We're Pregnant!

With TWINS!!!

I don't even know where to begin... 

God is Faithful.  

I will always begin and end there.

My heart is just so full.

Everything we have gone through has led up to this point, 

and it has all been worth it. 

I will post more in the coming days of the road we took to get here, 

but for now I will just leave you with these precious pictures.

Baby B (right) is a little bigger than Baby A and is upside down in this shot.

They measure about 14.9 and 14.4 mm (in this view B looks way bigger).

They won't be identical--you can tell they each have their own gestational sac, so they'll be fraternal.

Right now they're about the size of a kidney bean!  

Me and Andy after crying tears of JOY
when we heard the heartbeats of our little miracles.

Thank you to the hundreds of friends and family who have been praying for us.
These little guys will be part of your inheritance, too!

"Those who plant in tears
    will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed,
    but they sing as they return with the harvest."

Psalm 126:5-6

The Lowest of Lows - The Highest of Highs

One of the many incredible Arizona sunsets.

(There I go again, leaving weeks of silence on this blog.) Thank you to all who read my last post and responded so warmly and lovingly.  I'm thankful for the way God is using our lives to bring people encouragement, hope, and ultimately glory to His name.

The funny (read: ironic) thing is that the day after I wrote that post, we got some "bad" news.  This news led to more testing and, ultimately, even more "bad" news.  Our journey felt (and sometimes still does feel)like it was taking a turn for the worst.  Without getting too specific, Andy and I have found ourselves in a place we never thought we'd be as we long for children.  

We have a lot of praying, listening, waiting, and seeking to do.

In the past week or so, I have experienced all sorts of emotions:

heartbreak, 

heartache, 

fear, 

frustration, 

anger, 

loneliness, 

hope, 

faith, 

despair...

but I can honestly say that God has still been Faithful to me.

He has met me in my pain, felt troubled in His spirit with me, wept with me, 

and still constantly turns to me and says, 

"Emily, if you believe, you will see the glory of God."

What else can I do but believe Him?  At times, I have felt so hurt by God by the way things have turned out that I want to run from Him, 

but at the same time, 

He is the only One who knows me and can comfort me in the way that matters, that 

He is the one I'm running to.

John 11 has been by bread and butter these past few weeks.  It was in that chapter that Martha's brother Lazarus, whom Jesus really loved and cared for, got sick and died.  Martha sent men to tell Jesus that Lazarus was really sick and on his death bed and to please come, but Jesus stayed where He was for 2 days until He made the journey back to Judea (a place where He had been persecuted before).  By the time Jesus got to their home, Lazarus had been dead and in a tomb for 4 days.  Martha and Mary and their family were so sad and grieving the loss of their dear brother.  Martha met Jesus first, and He told her that her brother would rise again (like, in a few moments), and Martha responded, telling Jesus that she believed he would rise again at the resurrection day.  

This is when Jesus says, 

"I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die.  Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26)

Martha believes.  Then she sends Mary to meet Jesus.  For once, Martha gets it right, but Mary is a little slower to catch up.  

She is obviously distraught that her brother died.

Where were you, Jesus?
I thought you would come!

If only You had been here, Lazarus would be alive right now.

Jesus hears her pain and goes with her to see Lazraus' body.  The scripture actually says that Jesus was "deeply moved in spirit and troubled" and He wept with His friends.  

The God of the universe felt human emotion with His grieving friends and wept and mourned with them.  Even when He knew the outcome of the situation!  

That is incredibly amazing to me.  

And that's definitely why I will never run from Him in my pain but instead run to Him.

But the most impactful part about this story to me has been in verse 40.  After Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead, He turns to Mary and says, 

"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

So, I am choosing to believe. Over and over and over again, I'm believing His words.  I'm believing His promises.  I'm choosing to believe even when it doesn't seem possible or logical or fun or easy.

God WILL be glorified in this situation, in our lives, and ultimately in all the earth. 

I feel privileged (at times!) to take part in the suffering of Christ in order that 

His life may be revealed in me.

And I wanted to share something to encouraged you, whoever you are reading this.  God showed me this morning, that He has "high places" for each one of us.  But the only way we know something is a "high place" is if we travel through the valley.  There is usually pain and suffering in the valley, but it is worth it in the end, as God ultimately is victorious and gets the glory.  But the high places He talks of in scripture... I believe there are unique and specific ones that He has created for each of His children.  Read Habakkuk 3:17-19 in the New American Bible Standard version:

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
¹⁹ The Lord ^[b]God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.

Praying that even though it is extremely painful and sometimes feels like death, 

that you would embrace Jesus in your suffering and find that 

He ultimately is scheming and planning for your GOOD and 

has great heights of love, glory, and blessing to take you to.

Mary

Things have kicked into full gear, here in Tempe.  Our team has been "hitting the streets" - if you will - for the past 2 weeks, sharing the gospel, praying for people, and getting our church's name out there.  Many people, students and non-students alike, have shown interest in church or have desired prayer.  We have gotten to share the full gospel with a good amount of people, too!

One night last week, we went out to the main drag of Tempe, which is called Mill Ave., to share the gospel.  Now, Mill Ave. is interesting.  You have mainstream restaurants like Five Guys, Chili's, PF Chang's, and Red Mango frozen yogurt, there are lots of bars, some pscyhedelic shops, and a club or two.  The people who frequent Mill Ave--particularly at night--are even more eclectic.  You have students, young couples, lots of homeless youth, lots of homeless adults, and handfuls of people who are high or intoxicated.  Oh, and there is a not very friendly end-of-the-world preacher, who is disliked by many we have encountered.  So do you get the picture?  It's crazy.  Not unsafe, but crazy.

We split into groups of 5-6, with a guy in each group, and went off to pray for people and tell them about the love of Jesus.  (*We had a team in from Boston on a mission trip here last week, so there were more people than just our team.)  Before we went out to the streets, we had a fun little jam and worship session.  During that, one of the girls from Boston, Bryn, prayed and asked God if he had anything to say to her about going out that night.  All she saw in her mind was the color bright pink.  So, as we were walking around, Bryn kept her eye out for anyone in bright pink clothing, expecting those people to be hungry for God or needing prayer.  She saw one group of street kids, and a girl in the group was wearing a bright pink shirt.  She went over and started talking to them, but it was soon clear that they thought she was weird and didn't want anything to do with God.

Later on that night, Bryn and I were together in a group, and she saw the girl in pink crossing the street towards us.  Sure enough, the girl, Mary, walks right up to Bryn and says, "I've been looking for you all night!"  Of course with me being nosy, I hear this and butt myself right into the middle of the conversation :)  Mary goes on to say that she doesn't really know those other guys and just met them that night... so she "didn't want them to hear her business."  And, in fact, when Bryn asked if she could pray for any of them something inside her heart "felt funny".  She knew she needed whatever it was that Bryn was offering.  We got into a great conversation with her about where she was spiritually (very confused) and what she thought about God (went to church growing up but has rejected faith when she was old enough to choose).  To make a long story short, we shared the gospel with her, and at the end, with tears in her eyes, she nodded "yes" when I asked her if she would like to let Jesus be the Lord of her life.  We prayed, she accepted Jesus, and we rejoiced!  It was a beautiful thing.  We all had tears in our eyes.  We prayed then that she would be filled with the Holy Spirit, as the early Christians did in Acts, and she said she felt peace.

Mary is 22 and lives with and takes care of her grandmother.  Her hair is pink and black, she has gauge earrings, lots of piercings, and many tattoos.  She comes to Mill Ave to hang out with anyone she can find and with friends for fun.  Now, I say this so we will all know to never judge a book by its cover.  It is SO exciting to see and know that God is doing something here amongst his children.  The broken and hurting are aware of their need.  Regardless of people's outward appearance, hearts are being softened.  Amen! 

I am now meeting with Mary weekly to go through the foundations of having faith in Jesus.  I am so excited and expectant to see God move in her life, bring healing, and filling her with peace, joy, life, and power to share the gospel and see more people saved!  She is the sweetest girl, and I am genuinely grateful for her.  I look forward to developing sweet friendship with her.