I look to You.

One of my most favorite places to be--when I have nowhere to go and nothing "important" to do--is curled up on the couch, with a mug of hot coffee in one hand, and my Bible and journal in the other.  Worship music is playing (often too loud), a blanket is draped over me, and I could stay there for two or three hours.  Spending time with Jesus is the most important thing I do in my life, and when I can't do it, my heart aches.  I can definitely make it through my days without this time, but I'm probably not a joy to hang around!  I have learned over the years that I need to come to the waters of life and drink deeply to get my fill.  In the Old Testament, God gave the Israelites enough manna for each day.  Not for each few days or for each week or month; for each day.  I am a needy person, so this works perfectly.

Now, though I have learned my needs, this doesn't mean I do this everyday.  My work schedule does not lend itself to being very flexible.  If I am working a day shift, I am up at 5 and out the door by 6:15 and not home til 8pm.  I walk through the door drained of energy, physically and emotionally spent.  I am learning to commune with God in the day to day.  As I love and serve  my patients, I am loving and serving my God.  As I bring a cup of cold water to the thirsty (with ice or no ice?), clothe the poor (need a fresh johnny?), feed the hungry (sometimes the cafeteria puts me on hold for 5 minutes), and heal the sick (that is a nurse's highest priority) to the least, I am doing those things for Jesus.  See Matthew 25:37-40 for proof.  But this doesn't mean that I don't still crave quiet time with my Savior.  So on my days off, I will still get up early enough to get my fill before my busy (in a different way) day off  gets going.

Lately, I have been feeling more and more drained and exhausted.  I'm feeling desperate at times... Can I live like this?  Who is looking out for me?  Will I ever have time to be who I feel like I should be?  I can't do this anymore...  It's when I'm having racing thoughts like these, I know I need to get fresh perspective from God.  This morning the song "God, I Look to You" sung by Jenn Johnson with Bethel Church is filling my soul up and overflowing.  Sometimes someone else's lyrics, that were birthed in their secret place, birthed from the innermost parts of their heart, is exactly what I am feeling and thinking and crying out.  I love what I do.  I love caring for the sick and bringing hope and healing to the hurting and broken, but twelve hour shifts back to back to back with one day break then back to back to back is hard.  I get worn out.  Those above thoughts seem more easily thinkable than ones that inspire and encourage.  I need God.  Not to mention when I leave work, there is my best friend-husband at home waiting for my companionship/dinner/engagement, there is a how-did-we-accumulate-that-much-dirty-clothes-in-three-days pile of laundry, dishes that have been drying on the counter for 96 hours, and dust EVERYWHERE awaiting me at home.  Oh, and I have friends, too.  And a brother and sister I want to spend time with.  And I disciple some wonderful college women.  And I'm a part of a team of people who are moving to Tempe, AZ to see a move of God happen.  I need God.  

In this past week I've started reading a new book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  She is a stay at home farmer's wife, mother of six homeschooler, and follower of Jesus.  She has learned through the years that being thankful is the key to living a full, whole life in God.  Even being thankful for the little things like the sun shining so brightly that it looks like it will burst through my closed blinds any minute.  My friend Joy recommended this book to me, and I know it was really God doing it.  Her words and revelations are like honey to my lips (or music to my ears?) in this season of my life.

So, these are just my random, wandering thoughts this morning.  I look to God for my hope, my help, my encouragement, my inspiration.  I'm not at all complaining about my life, and I know that when each of us sits down to think of all the people/things that we are devoted to, the list is long.  I just want a heavenly perspective for my life and a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit.  He is faithful to do it whenever we ask.  Thank you, Lord!  

Spring! ...almost

The sun is out, the windows are down, and pretty much all of the piles of snow are melted away.  Spring is arriving soon!  This winter has been sooo long, and I didn't realize how much I miss getting to be outside more often.   So I sat down to write this post one week ago, and it's almost funny how things have changed!  It's March 24th, and it's snowing outside.  !@#@(*!  Just kidding.  But needless to say, I am longing for spring. 

One of Andy and my favorite things to do is go on walks around the neighborhood at the end of the day, and I'm looking forward to getting to do that soon.  In the meantime, we've stayed in and watched a movie or read on our free nights (which aren't that often!).  We also got into the show "Lost"... and watched the whole series on Netflix over the course of a month and a half!  I'm not much of a tv watcher, but I was sucked in.  I was glad when we finished!

We're also working on sending out our support letters, letting our friends and family know the details of our move to Arizona.  It's a little bittersweet.  Sending out the letters mean we're finally getting close to our departure date, but it also means that our time in Boston is soon coming to a close.  I've been getting nostalgic and a little sad over the past week... I'm realizing how nice it has been to have family so close.  I've never had that, and over the past few years, I've had my mom and dad's family just a short drive away, and then Victoria and Nick up the street, and now my parents just 40 minutes away at times.  I love being near family, and that will be the biggest sacrifice as we plant this church.  But I've counted the costs, and know that following Jesus wherever he leads us is worth it to me.  I'm going to spend as much time as I can with my family in these next couple of months.

I'll leave you with some pictures of my latest creations...

Oreo-stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies from picky-palate.com.  Andy loved these so much that he actually did not let me share them with our friends!  I had to hide them! 

King Cake for Mardi Gras!  This was so fun to make and delicious.  My coworkers loved it.  From baked-bree.com.

Strawberry Lemonade Cupcakes from Annies-eats.com.

SO pretty!

Cinnamon Rolls from baked-bree.com.

Brought one batch to a new mom and froze the other.

Cakes, brownies, cookies, and my own recipe!

I have come to terms with the fact that my favorite pastime is baking.  Andy and I haven't been going to or leading a faithgroup (small group) this year, so I haven't had something every week to bake for, but that hasn't stopped me from doing it!  Sometimes, when I have just a couple of hours and no plans, I spontaneously bake.  I'll invite friends over to eat my creations, bring them to work, or just have them around for Andy and me to enjoy them.  I love it.  Here are some of my recent creations...

Pistachio Cake

mmm delicious!

Ganache-filled German Chocolate cupcakes

homemade Hostess cupcakes

so fun!

Last night Andy went to hang out with his old roommate and friend Derek, so I decided to do some baking.  I've been meaning to make some cookies to give to our neighbor across the street, John, who has been so kind and neighborly this winter with his plow and shovel.  He has helped dig out our cars and plows the street every time there is a snowstorm--which happened a lot this winter!  Cookies are not my forte when it comes to baking, but it definitely is the quintessential baked good one would give to one's neighbor, wouldn't you say?  I was reading all sorts of blogs last night about chocolate chip cookies and how to achieve the best... melted butter or room temp butter creamed?  I have yet to master the chocolate chip cookie, so I thought I'd give it another go.  But then I remembered the raisins I bought on sale this week.  Maybe I'll do oatmeal raisin chocolate chip?  I had a blog open, the top of the oatmeal container, and a Sunkist raisins cookbook opened all at once, and I played around with the recipes until I created my own!  I must say, the cookies turned out beautifully.  Not to mention yummy, too!  I hope our neighbor feels blessed.  Here's the recipe:

Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip Cookies
Yield:  36 cookies

3/4 c. unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/2 c. granulated sugar
1 c. brown sugar
2 tsps. vanilla
1 egg plus 1 yolk
1 1/2 c. flour
2 c. oats
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 - 1 c. raisins
1 1/2 - 2 c. chocolate chips  (I obviously recommend the 2 cups!)

Preheat the oven to 325.  Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper and spray with cooking spray.  Mix the butter and sugars by hand with a wooden spoon until incorporated.  Beat in the eggs and vanilla until well blended.  Dump in the dry ingredients and mix by hand.  Stir in the raisins and chips.  Drop well-rounded balls of dough onto the cookie sheet and bake for 12-15 mins.  Do not overbake... cookies are done when the edges JUST START to look golden brown.  Transfer to a drying rack to cool.  Even if they feel a little jiggly, they will finish baking on the rack.  This ensures soft and chewy cookies.  Enjoy!

 

The Start...

Last night was the going away party for our dear friends the Phillips, who are starting the trek to Arizona, ahead of the rest of our team.  Travis will be the lead pastor of our church in Tempe, alongside his wife, Joy, and their three little girls (Ellie, Gracie, and Emily).  Of course, my emotions are not as sad or deep as most other people's because I know that I'm going to see them in the next few months and no doubt live in the same neighborhood come June!  But I think the reality of the transition stage of our life is hitting me.  First we say goodbye to The Phillips, who have been such an integral part of our church and our community and who have impacted hundreds of peoples' lives... then we say goodbye to my dear friend Lisa, and her family, when they leave in May to see a move of God happen in Indonesia.  Lisa was my first good friend at CFCF and discipled me for a few years.  She is one of my sweetest, dearest friends.  I love her little Mary and new baby Luke, and I'm going to really miss her.  If I had to say goodbye to Travis and Joy and their girls, too... I don't know how I would do it!  There's an exciting part of all of these goodbyes and all of this transition.  It's like we're saying that Jesus and the people of the world are more important to us than us staying a few streets away from one another so we can grow up together for the rest of our lives.  Our friendships are sweet and meaningful, but we are living for a greater purpose.  It is helping to keep that kind of perspective right now.  I'll let you know how it helps in a couple of months! 

Here are some photos from last night's party:

Holding baby Emily

Joy, June, and me

Andy and Travis

Lisa and me.

Gracie and me.

Ellie's favorite friend, Alyssa.

What's cooking?

Here are a few photos of what I've been making in the kitchen lately...

Peppermint brownies for the holidays

I'm obsessed with brownies

Sea Salt Caramels

Don't even ask how long it took me to wrap them up individually in parchment paper.

Four layer raspberry fudge cake with white chocolate whipped cream filling

It honestly tasted like my favorite layer of our wedding cake.  Divine.

Sorry for the bad photos... our good camera was being borrowed to take pictures of this little nugget.

Sugar cookies with royal icing.

I actually still haven't frosted these.  Flowers and umbrellas?  I don't know why.

My coworkers loved these!

My favorite one :)

I promise you that Andy and I eat real food, too.

Here.  Black bean and salsa soup.

"Souper" easy and delicious!

Black Bean and Salsa Soup
Ingredients:
2 cans black beans, drained and rinsed
1.5 c. vegetable broth
1 c. salsa
1 t. cumin
sour cream, green onion, shredded cheese for garnishing

Directions:
Combine beans, broth, salsa and cumin in a food processor. Blend until fairly smooth. Heat soup in a saucepan over medium heat until thoroughly heated. Put soup in bowls and garnish as desired.
Source: Allrecipes

(I found the recipe on Annie's Eats.)

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I looooove Shutterfly because they are so good to their customers!  Use the code "CARD4U" through Feb. 1st to get one free card.  I decided to make my Valentine for Andy using this, so I only paid $1.01 for s&h and tax.  Cheaper than a card I would have gotten at CVS, anyway, and it's personalized!  And again, if I embed the card I created in my blog and email Shutterfly with a link to my blog, they will email me with a coupon code for $25 off my next order.  Pretty sweet deal, huh? 

So, please excuse my sappy, romantic love letter to my husband and just be excited with me for the coupon  :)

What will 2011 bring?

I feel like it has been awhile since I've really posted on here.  I can't believe it's already January 18, 2011.  I feel like Christmas was ages ago.  I guess a lot has happened since then, too.  Andy and I are getting more prepared to leave Boston and move to Tempe, Arizona as this new year gets under way.  We've settled on the moving date to be somewhere in the first week of June, and we're starting to get things in order...  like ordering a moving pod, thinking about what we'll do with our cars, finishing up our newsletter to send to family and friends...  Something else we can check off our list is attending our church's missionary staff training, which was this past weekend.  It was five full days of teachings and talks that our Arizona team, the Indonesia team, and some other staff attended.  The training got me simultaneously excited and envisioned as well as overwhelmed and sobered.  

Andy and I are leaving Boston--our family, friends, beloved church, great jobs--to plant a church and share the Gospel with lost and searching people of Arizona, in faith that God will start a movement among Arizonians that will ultimately send people out to the four corners of the world so that those who do not know Jesus might come to know him.  WOW.

That is crazy!  I get to do this?!  I can't do this!  I'm not capable!  Oh but for the grace of God, I am.  Thankfully, God does not call the equipped; He equips the called.  So, Andy and I are on a journey of seeing the God be glorified in America's southwest.  I feel humbled and honored to be a part of this call.  Ever since I was a sophomore at BC and attended CFCF's annual missions conference, World Mandate, I caught the "church planting bug".  I knew that I couldn't keep this saving message of the love and grace of God to myself.  I knew that I would one day drop everything and go.  Somewhere, anywhere.  I am just thankful I get to do it with Andy.  Not to mention with some of our closest friends.  The missions movement we belong to always talks about making "lifelong friendships through sacrificial living" and about living life with "marvelous comrades."  God is so sweet that way.  He doesn't call us to do things all by ourselves.  He has given me marvelous comrades to walk life with.  Yes, we have to also say goodbyes throughout life, but I know that the friends I make in Christ will be friends for all eternity.  It's fun!  I will probably be posting more about this journey in these next few months.